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No wonder so many butches prefer to be alone as they get older.

It's Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me than emotionally enslaving themselves to spoiled femme girls that need to remake their partner into their ideal of perfection. Yikes, rhianimal, Calm down! Just from your overly-aggressive Lonely wife wants casual sex Incline Village, I have a feeling there are other reasons that "many butches [read: This post sounds more like a job advertisement than problems between this and that.

Laborer, Must pay attention to detail, show up on time, be trustworthy, must be able to lift up to 75lbs, haha! No, this is not an add for foreman, if your looking to be a foreman, apply elsewhere. Double Yikes, Rhianimal. I think you have some issues with femmes. OK to the guest poster - Thanks for writing this and I'm seriously worried about you reading Rhianimals comments.

Please don't!

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I think her comments say more about her than they do about me. But thank you to the folks you got the joke and have enjoyed the post. I thank Sarah for her honest post, and BW for publishing it. But I can't deny that parts of it made me feel a little uncomfortable. I'm speaking as a person who, while not stereotypically high femme, is definitely feminine-energied and socialized into very feminine modes of speaking, talking, walking, being. And then I take it a step further, and I realize there are certain "feminine"-identified ways of being that I almost instinctively due to socialization display in a relationship Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me I Horny mom in Hartleton United States hold in contempt in myself.

Then, after having gotten to the point of realizing that I slightly resent these feminine-socialized urges in me and that I'm frustrated with myself for not having more of the traits I witth in masculine-energied folks, I come up against the most unpalatable realization of all: Everything honorable, everything brave, everything confident and proactive is masculine. That's what Walt Disney, Madison Avenue, and a hundred folktales and fairy tales both Western and non-Western instilled in me since birth.

Meanwhile, everything circumspect, averse to physical jeopardy, and passive was yoh. No wonder I watched the old swashbucklers and the 80s action flicks as a kid and identified more with the hero than with the heroine: Once or twice, I've wondered in passing why butch women who date femmes tolerate pronounced femininity in their partners; I wonder if they don't secretly hold femmes in Horny women in Richvale, CA for that femininity.

Can they resent what they profess to be attracted to femininity? And the answer to that is that, of course, in a culture like ours, masculinity is more than capable of harboring a deep ebjoy towards that which it craves.

Legions of hetero men have a deep resentment towards the women they lust after; het men can crave femininity in one breath yet denounce it as weak, spoiled, Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me self-entitled in another. And they resent the fact of their own weak flesh, for falling prey to something--femininity--that is so contemptible.

So, yes, Datee did feel a prick of discomfort as I read this post. But when I stop to reflect on it, I realize Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me the discomfort comes from within me; it is my own internalization of the contempt directed towards femininity in our society. I recognize myself in what Sarah writes, and I don't like it. Deep down, I wish so many of my urges and needs weren't feminine-socialized ones; I wish I didn't "need" a masculine-energied partner in order to feel emotionally content in a relationship.

Deep down, too, I wish I valued the feminine-socialized things in me that society tells me are weak and contemptible. Thanks for the discussion. Not sure if that was directed to me but if so, thanks. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who thinks about things in this way. How does our world work and how am I, my identity, my desires, Get laid tonite in Dolores CO part of it?

I agree with just about everything you said EK. I tend to be attracted to more masculine not necessarily Butch women and I am a femme. For me, it's not about character traits but the way they look. I like the way masculine dqte are desired. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be more masculine so I can feel desired. It may sound kind of weird, but I tend Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me not like the Stues feminine women are physically desired.

It's nice when someone can lay bare the essence of the topic which was not well expressed by the offensive author wiyh the article. Thank you I now have a better understanding of what I am looking for, I've been on this emotional roller coaster trying to figure out why me and my bou argue all the time. I can bearly tolerate her snide comments. I've Housewives seeking sex Rockford Illinois 61107 relationships with bous as a teen, but went straight because my heart was broken.

Now I turned femme because a man broke my heart and of course the sex was great.

But now its crazy and I can't shake this wit of trying to please her If you can read between the lines, this is an excellent post. Not just because of the post itself but the comments it generated. It says a lot about people in general. And if it were a job advertisement, witb also says, looking for laborer, not foreman - that role is already taken.

LoL This is a Great post! I am glad that not everyone was offended. I was trying to be direct, honest Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me to the point of what I am interested in finding as a partner. Rhianimals comments have a note of bitterness, maybe even some Looking for a fun no pressure type girl as evidenced by her swearing but the bitterness I can relate to.

I'm fond of femmes. I like when they're smart, witty and well-read and I like when they're gracious and essentially gentle. But just as butches, AG's and studs need to know when they've come upon a narcissist and should cut their losses, femmes have a responsibilty to communicate their desires, maybe if not always clearly and explicitly, Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me at least consistently, and I have not always found that to be the case.

Nevertheless, the real issue seems to be that being truthful xate one'self at least raises the likelihood of being truthful to others, if not in words, then at least in actions. I agree with you completely, Rhianimal!! There is nothing in this post that speaks of inherently trying to work at a relationship and show the dynamics of butch-femme relationships, just a bunch of whiney-spoiled-femme malarkey.

Glad I'm not the only Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me who thinks this. Would have to agree for I am one butch stud whatever the hell each generation comes up for a masculine lesbian that chooses to be alone than to be with the boss godess femmes were attracted to that think there the queen that we should be worthy of.

This article is insane! I am a tiny, blonde, high heel wearing, red lipstick flaunting femme who loves to come home to my flannel wearing butch cooking something amazing. I love sending her flowers on valentines day, I love surprising her with gifts, I love helping her sand Stids and paint our living room.

I love holding her when she cries, and I love listening to her rip apart some insensitive asshole with her biting Kentucky wit. I love datte I can depend on her to be my rock when I fall apart, or that she always finds a few extra dollars somewhere when we seem to have no money. I have experienced dating truly misogynistic butches. And I see some femmes treating their butch lovers like the writer of this article details.

We are human women, all of us. I agree to some of what you said I can handle it sometimes I remind her we need US time I love my butch for who she is One of the main things I love about my butch is she is comfortable in who ennoy is as I am in myself Lol seriously this femme is on the money!

I'm butch and I can relate to everything she has said. I've watched many relationships fail due to one Lonely ladies want nsa Happy Valley-Goose Bay a few of the five points listed not being adhered to. Thanks for the great blog, Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me gave me a good laugh: I have to say, although I am not quite as demanding a femme as the author of this post, I loved it.

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I was laughing my ass off at the comment: When we dance, you need to lead. You are the cockroach killer, oil changer, furniture mover, flower buyer. In return, I'll spoil her rotten in other ways, there has to be equal give and take in a relationship. But I also liked this article because I am still hurting because of my ex, the first butch I ever dated and there are a lot of questions I have about her behavior during the time we were dating that will probably never be answered, and it seems like I'm not the Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me femme to have dealt with a lot of them.

I'm glad someone wrote about them, because I was starting to wonder Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me our problems were me somehow, even though she always denied that Adult Personals Online - do you need a Denmark lashing had done anything wrong.

At least there are others dealing with the same shit. That's a little comforting in a weird way. I am enjoying the discussion that the original post is generating. It's all food for thought. I have been described as "sporty" I guess middle of Chicago strip club guide road.

I have close-cropped hair, wear makeup every day, and I would say my spirit or mode of interaction is quite female. I can cook, love taking care of cleaning and decorating around the house, but I can't fix anything! I've generally been in relationships with other middle-spectrum women. Not too into labels, I am using them for purposes of this discussion.

I was always afraid of and nervous around feminine lesbians. It recently occurred to me that this is because I am very, very attracted to them! I recently dated a very feminine lesbian, pretty much my first "femme" I was thrilled to pieces and she seemed to be as well. She was all over me, and then, after a lovely date all of our dates lasted hours and she seemed as reluctant as I was to part at the end of them she wrote and stated she only wanted friendship.

I am certain that the she pulled had nothing to do with her very feminine presentation, but now I'm afraid of the femmes again! I'm not giving up though! I guess I am not very sure at all if there is a recipe or formula for how this is all supposed to work, but I definitely appreciate this conversation. Thank you to all who have posted.

I prefer to pay local automotive wisemen to do that sort of thing. They're what get my pulse quickening and protectiveness going. I completely agree on the oil change thing. I can't work on cars or anything that really requires tools. Honestly, I hate football and most sports. Now give me a good book, scientific journal, or documentary and I will excel. From my past relationships this is how the femmes acted and I'm guilty of more than a few bullet points.

The article gave me a good chuckle. Hey Sarah. I am an old Butch who fits none of your Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me points. I do, however, know of one other Butch foil in relationships: Could be to another woman, could be to alcohol.

But ultimately, it's about fearing what happens if we are vulnerable sexually and to our fears of loss. Doesn't rems we don't eventually learn the lessons.

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Just that it is our greatest weakness and takes a lot of learning to get over. Thanks for the post. Hey Carmen, I completely agree. I think that's what happens for a lot of women who identify as butch.

It happens for femmes too, we just express it differently I think. Ladies seeking sex Cisco Illinois really scary to put ourselves out there because other people have the right to have their own feelings about our feelings, just as some people here have expressed Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me at my 'tude because of how they've chosen to interpret it, rather than the tongue-in-cheek humor it really is meant to be.

I think as we learn more about ourselves and become more comfortable and confident with who Wives Coningsby xxx are, that fear of being vulnerable lessens, though never fully goes away. I guess we just keep trying right?

Thanks so much for your comments. Hey Sarah, if people aren't quite reading your humor the way you intended, maybe you want to try expressing it in a different way? Your intent is obviously getting lost on a lot of people, so you may want to clarify. As a fellow writer, I know the burden lies with me; if my audience misunderstands, it is because I haven't explained myself completely.

I loved this article! This is the type of girl I seek. Just remember everyone is looking for something else. Not all femmes are going to want exactly this And not all butches are gonna be Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me to keep up with this! I am a femme, I agree that balance is the key to pretty much all relationships. My butch spouse and I have had discussions about the work thing, she tends to want to put the job ahead of me.

I Sex dating in Fosterville say, look for what you want in a person, don't try to make a person into something you want I thought this was cute blog and made some good points. Main one, just be yourself, so the other person knows who they are falling for.

I also have had issues with number Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me I like butches but I Sexy wife wants hot sex Sedalia like women I don't really consider it to be the other person though, I just think it is me figuring out what is a turn on for me I am a "latebian" and I guess just learning about me.

There certainly is the time and the place to feel like a princess though! Dee, We all have things we're attracted to or not attracted to. I think if we try to ignore those things because they aren't viewed as "right" we just wind up with people we either aren't physically attracted to or aren't emotionally attracted to. There is nothing in the world wrong with behavior that would be seen as more "feminine" or behavior that would be more "masculine.

I've spent a lot of time in relationships with people I wasn't really attracted to because I thought a "nice" person wouldn't feel that way.

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But we can't force ourselves to be drawn to something else just because society says we should. That would be like forcing myself to be with a man because society says I should, when in my heart, I'm not attracted to men.

It doesn't mean I hate men. She is perfect the way she is and her thought process for this article was amazing. She is only spoiled by me and no others because I believe in spoiling the lady of the house. She has made me the happiest butch in the world cause has aloud me to be me. And we do communicate if there is an issue and we work together making our relationship and home work.

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That is what true relationships are about. So thank you for calling her a princess cause is is MY amazing princess. That being said, I just want to point out one thing that really kind of bothered me about this post. I'm a fat butch in Looking for a freaky Settle mom. I work really hard-- I am definitely the "work too much" butch--but there's a reason for that. I have been fired from jobs because of my gender wity sexuality, and while I feel safest in academia, I have known many other datee, genderqueer, AG, studs, not yoh mention trans people who have suffered job discrimination because of our gender.

So while you want us to bring home some bacon, recognize Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me the system often makes it incredibly hard on us.

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Thanks Studw listening. I'm a femme, and I usually date masculine-spectrum people. I think it's really dangerous, though, to talk about one gender which I consider butch and femme to be as the ones who do X and the other as the ones who do Y.

Some butches and men, trans or cis I've dated cry a lot. I don't cry much at all. I really love to buy flowers for my sweetie, prefer to be the one driving, and no one is expected to be the bug-killer by default.

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I hate to enjjoy. I like to sew and craft. None of these things have to do with my gender expression. Cherry Ejnoy I think you have a point about putting each other in boxes.

I think it's difficult because as much as I'd enjly to say Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me shouldn't matter nor do they dictate a person's traits" appearance is more often than not the first impression we get. Most of the time I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl. I don't wear make-up or heels, but when I go out, I dress up, put Married Park Ridge creampie my make-up, my girlie clothes. I identify Milf dating in Lanier heights "femme" and so portray myself as femme in my manner of physical presentation.

But, I'm also extremely independent and prefer to do many things for myself, so butches who see me in my femme gear and perceive me as someone who wants to be pampered or babied won't really understand the total of my character just by how I portray myself on the outside.

I think the same happens Grantley girl fuck free butches. Most femmes Studds expectations Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me certain masculine traits from butches because of the manner in which they portray themselves publicly. For instance, I had a long-term relationship with a woman who dressed butch and talked butch aka more masculine in characteristics but emotionally was far more feminine in characteristics and preferred a more typically feminine role in our relationship.

That wasn't what I was looking for or attracted to and so the relationship woth. I also dated a woman who dressed more feminine but had more masculine or "butch" mw, which made her attractive to me in spite of her outward appearance. There are so many combinations of the ways we present ourselves and who we are that there's no one way of being or doing.

I dated femmes, sporty girls, and what I call “in-betweeners” (kinda but the universe got me back when I ended up falling hard for a woman who My intention is to provide you with things to consider when choosing to date a Requesting that your butch girlfriend or wife downplay her masculinity can feel like a rejection. If you're a homosexual you gotta be a fem, or a butch, or a bi, gay, straight (which sounds absurd). Like if they were fem they would be totally hot. Me, I would never date another stud, but thats just my personal preference. Like it's “unacceptable” for two Feminine women to date each other, or for two Butch/Stud Femmes, what can a Stud do to turn you on? and sorry Honey but I'm not about to Butch Up just so you will consider dating me.

There is often a disconnect between what we portray and who we are at our core but denying that those initial expectations exist is Salt Cedar Rapids Iowa dating casual. This is why it's so vital to be honest with our partners to ensure a good fit. I am used to dating bisexual women who expected me to be the traditional butch which I happily provided except that I appear femme but I never dress girly so one lesbian told me one time that I was trying hard to be a butch.

I also hate butches when theyre so weak in terms of keeping a job. When I Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me about male or female as opposed to butch or femme it's because of the type of gender roles I'm talking about Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me those positions. There are many ways to be butch or femme, so to just say butch or femme I don't think really defines the trait I'm trying to discuss. Talking about stereotypes in a humorous manner is a way to retake Married women looking sex Kihei perceived ideas and regain our power over them, similar to the way we may choose to embrace the word "dyke" or African American people may embrace the word "nigger" among each other because it takes the power in the word away from the negative intention of the original user and returns the power to us who choose to create our own positive empowering picture of what a "dyke" is.

By embracing those parts of ourselves we make them positive and powerful rather than negative. For instance, there have been words here used to refer to my albeit exaggerated but mostly truthful portrayal of myself as a femme in this post.

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These words include princess, high-maintenance, spoiled, entitled, etc. To me, those same traits are self-awareness, Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me, and an acceptance of who I am. None of those things are Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me in my eyes. Aside from validating the personal preferences of a few people, I can see no value in sharing lists like this; I wasn't the only person who read it that was Sexy women wants casual sex Strasburg at the language, sexism, transphobia, classism, etc.

It reads like a personal ad from b-f. Stus have just now found your website and I feel really comfortable in asking you what should I do now? I am feminine, the girl next door cheer leader type. I am not attracted to other femme women but, only the stud or butch type. I wear thongs and she wears boxers. In my case, opposites attract. We are moving in together next month. Now things is just different for me. I been in the game as long as i can remember.

The hold swag about them turns me on. After 2mths of knowing each other we are engaged to be wih. They are really, really immature, I know from experience.

They will make you miserable because they will want ddate to choose between the child and her. I just got done reading your article, and really enjoyed it, thank you. You can see some fun books at http: ThankYou Cheril for writing this article. I can totally relate to what you wrote I datf much better that there are people who I can relate to.

I enjoy your article I myself like to switch up how i ennoy when I dress.

An AG (Aggressive) and stud are both descriptions of lesbians who are more on women 2) If I dressed like a 'girly girl' I would attracting studs, AGs and butches, The point is that I dress for me and I hope that you will too. . Im a stud i like fems i just got out of a 13 year relationship about a year ago im in. Soft studs can take control, be protective, be sexually aggressive and strong while still Trust me, you won't spend your life with a soft stud buying tissue in bulk, and wiping her tears and snot. go back to whatever girl club or lesbian dating app you found her at, and keep looking. Are Studs Leaving Femmes for Men?. If you're a homosexual you gotta be a fem, or a butch, or a bi, gay, straight (which sounds absurd). Like if they were fem they would be totally hot. Me, I would never date another stud, but thats just my personal preference.

But my ex now who stills live with me we 10yrs apart an she wigh a 5month old that I been their since birth. We was very different an stay arguing cause her temple is dxte. I am 50 years and decided to stop living Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me other people and be true to me; I am attracted to studs.

Let me also say we have been chatting for a few years, but she would stop chatting with me once her ex called and wanted to give it another try. Because I am a masculine-identified woman, I usually end up paying.

If she invites me out, I pay. If I invite her, I pay. I am what you would consider old-fashioned. I believe in courting, going on dates, getting that nervous first kiss and asking the awkward questions Adult seeking hot sex Noblesville Indiana 46060 find out if you're even sexually compatible with me.

I don't mind paying for the date. Actually, I usually do pay. I think the last time a femme paid for me was four years ago.

That was the best damn steak I've ever eaten in my life! What I do have a problem with is feminine women who think that just because they are femme, they should not pay for anything, ever. They have a sense of entitlement because of their label. They Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me that being a femme Ladies want sex tonight LA Berwick 70342 them a God-given right to enjoy freebies. Wearing heels, makeup and smelling good is a lifetime pass to free drinks, dinners, concerts and vacations.

Lately women aren't even faking it. They don't even offer to pay anymore. Some don't even say "thank you. You can't have it both ways.

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You can't proclaim and brag that you are a modern, grown woman who pays her own bills and don't need anyone to do anything for her, and then, when it comes to paying for dinner, talk about how you are the femme and shouldn't have to pay. If you are a modern woman, then prove it.

Pay the damn bill!! If you prefer to be old-fashioned and want me to pay the bill, then Studs or fems you ll enjoy a date with me problem. Sexy fun Lynton we get home, I want to keep it old-fashioned: You are solely responsible for cooking, cleaning and all the domestic responsibilities.